What's in a name?

So I discovered something cool on babyzone.com. They use numerology to reveal clues about a baby's full name. So, drum roll please...here it is (with my thoughts italicized):

Powerful, a conqueror, devours the weak and rules the strong. The name Joseph Oscar Sarkis reflects money and power. It is a carnivore, a winner at all cost. (note the words "devour" and carnivore". Yes, they hit the nail on the head.)

Joseph Oscar Sarkis has the power and potential to achieve great things. Whatever the enterprise, it strives to be the best and most successful in its field. Extremely competitive and not afraid of challenges or challengers. A visionary, a realist, and a planner. Discipline and perseverance. Dynamic and efficient. (my offspring, competitive? really? huh.)

Rewards the faithful and hardworking employee, but has no tolerance for the incompetent.
Joseph Oscar Sarkis understands the balance between giving and taking, generosity and greed. When it loses that balance, it self-destructs.

Joseph Oscar Sarkis's most positive characteristics: Strength, perseverance, potential for greatness.

Joseph Oscar Sarkis's most negative characteristics: Financial ups and downs. Lacks compassion. Can be self-destructive. (Surely you're not talking about my sweet little baby. I guess this thing isn't totally accurate.)

Here are some pictures of my carnivorous, conquering, dynamic, balanced little guy.